Attitude Adjustment

I enjoy living and working in Cambodia, but there can be stretches of time where the unique frustrations I encounter living here just start to get to me. I was experiencing a bit of that lately. As I took it to the Lord, it struck me that quite a few of the frustrations I have here are closely linked to the expectations that came from having grown up in a very privileged position compared to most of the world. I once heard a comedian talking about being on a flight where they announced that they had a new feature: in-flight wi-fi. Shortly after that they announced their apologies that the system wasn't working. The guy sitting next to him was all bent out of shape, suddenly feeling entitled to something he hadn't known existed 10 seconds before. If I'm honest, though, I can be a bit that way too. Sometimes I'm frustrated by inconveniences that interfere with my comfort or plans. Other times I'm frustrated by feeling helpless in the face of life and death situations faced by the people I've come here to serve, for which I know solutions exist, they just don't seem to be available here. Big or small, these frustrations get to me mainly because I've previously lived with the luxury of not having to deal with them. So, that brought to mind Philippians 2:5-8 (NLT):

"You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had. Though he was God, he did not think of equality with God as something to cling to. Instead, he gave up his divine privileges; he took the humble position of a slave and was born as a human being. When he appeared in human form, he humbled himself in obedience to God and died a criminals death on a cross."

Dying on a cross to cover the penalty for our sins was the ultimate sacrifice and the culmination of what Jesus had come to accomplish, but, leading up to that, He gave up the privilege of His heavenly dwelling, which was free from the brokenness of this world, and willingly entered into our mess. He didn't immediately fix everything to make Himself comfortable. He didn't turn stones to bread when He was hungry. In the case of Lazarus, He didn't avoid the grief of having a dear friend die, because He knew the Father had another plan. He has great empathy for the challenges we face because He has experienced what it is like to give up His privilege and live with our limitations. Now, as His representatives, and in light of all He has done for us, we are called to take on His attitude. That means that, by His grace and through His empowering, I am called to check my sense of entitlement and expectation, remembering that the universe is in much more capable hands than mine, and be grateful for a Savior who has so compassionately led the way for me. I can live in the hope of 2 Corinthians 4:16:18 (NLT):

"That is why we never give up. Though our bodies are dying, our spirits are being renewed every day. For our present troubles are small and won't last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever! So we don't look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever."

Privileged

So, now that I'm using this blog for my personal reflections and utilizing other media for communicating about the ABLE program, I'm going to take the liberty to go a little "off topic." Even as a personal post, I really don't like to comment publicly on politically charged topics because I think there's so much opportunity to be misunderstood and I would so much rather there be dialogue than to try to just make my point. But some things have been running through my mind that I hope might be an encouragement toward peace and loving attitudes towards brothers and sisters in Christ and toward fellow human beings in general. People have been talking about "white privilege" for a while and it makes a lot of people uncomfortable. Being that I'm white, I could be one of those uncomfortable people. I could feel defensive about being labeled as having an advantage simply because of my lineage, and insist that the claims of injustice from people who have lived a very different set of experiences from my own are overstated.

But living in Cambodia, I can't help but see that I have been privileged. It's humbling. I recognize the expectations that I have, the sense of entitlement I often have, that are in contrast to so many of the people around me, and sometimes I feel like a spoiled brat. My upbringing has taught me to view a refrigerator as a necessity, but many Cambodians I know don't have one. I have a bathroom right off of my bedroom. Many Cambodians have to walk several houses away to use a bathroom, if they have one available at all. Even while living in Cambodia I have access to so many things that many Cambodians do not. What choice did I have in being born to American parents rather than to Cambodian parents? What have I done to warrant this status? Zero. Absolutely nothing.

Why do we chafe at the thought of being called privileged? Probably because we like to think that we deserve what we have and it irritates us for others to say that we had an unfair advantage. I'm sorry, fellow white people, but we have had an advantage. And, no matter what your skin color, if you've grown up in the developed world, you have too. I've seen the contrasts both in the U.S. and here, and I can't ignore the reality that is plainly before my eyes.

"For who sees anything different in you? What do you have that you did not receive? If then you received it, why do you boast as if you did not receive it?" (1 Corinthians 4:7)

Brothers & sisters, can we recognize that we've all received blessings we didn't deserve? Can we also accept that any of us can also be subject to negative influences, systems, and conditions that we had little to no control over? 

I think another reason people don't like being called privileged in light of another's claim to injustice is that they feel they are being blamed. I'd like to propose that, while you may not be directly responsible for the problem, as believers, we have a responsibility to be part of the solution. The first step seems to me to be a willingness to reserve judgment & really listen to other people's experiences and think of what it would be like to be in their shoes. Thank God that Jesus did that for us. He didn't just think about what it would be like, He emptied Himself and walked in our shoes.

Black lives matter. Police officers' lives matter. Cambodian lives matter. We all matter to Jesus and, for that reason, we ought to matter enough to one another to drop our pride & defensiveness, drop the blame game, and work together for justice, having concern for the things that affect one another. Jesus had the privilege of being the divine Son of God. He didn't pretend that He wasn't, but He willingly laid aside the benefits of that privilege to save us. Being aware of being privileged, I'm continually confronted with choices about what to do about it and I invite all of my brothers & sisters to do engage in the same honest reflection.

I had already written this when I stumbled across this video. I think it may help to make the point. 

Click here to go to video on Upworthy.com

(I will make the disclaimer that I am not a fan of everything on the Upworthy.com website, but I thought this one was worth sharing.)

The ABLE program now has it's own blog! You can still find my personal reflections on my own journey as I serve the Lord here in Cambodia on this blog site, but if you want more info about the ABLE program you'll find it here!

Click here to go to the new ABLE blog.

Humbled

I don't know exactly where it ranks on the whole humility scale, but trying to become competent in another language is surely one of the most humbling experiences I've encountered. Now, I've had humiliating experiences before (like when I was in junior high and was running because I was late for the bus, which was sitting there at the end of our driveway. I slipped in the slush and had mud all over the side of my pant leg as the kids on the bus were laughing and yelling at me. Yeah, that was humiliating.), but those things happen in an instant - the feeling of embarrassment is intense, the memory lingers for a while, and then you move on and, hopefully, can eventually laugh about it. In contrast, the humility that is required with language learning is a daily trudge. You get these moments of exhilaration when you reach new peaks, but you are regularly - oh so much more frequently - reminded that you are still only functioning at the level of a child. You've come with all of this professional experience to share and a desire to develop meaningful relationships, and yet you're limited to the vocabulary of a second grader. It's one of the major motivators for me to keep going, though. Not because I'm trying to get past having to be humble (I know I need to be humbled whether I want to or not), but because I so badly want to be able to connect with Khmer people. It's why I'm here. If I let pride get in the way I'll never get there. So, for now, I strain to catch as many words as I can, yet sit there dumbfounded while everyone else is laughing at the joke someone just made. I know it will come with time. John Piper is always talking about "Don't waste your...." Fill in the blank with whatever hard thing you're going through. I guess I need to not waste this opportunity for humility.

Normal?

One aspect of my "Cambodia Normal"

Near the beginning of my six month home assignment I had sort of a surreal experience. Having flown in to the Twin Cities from California the night before, I was standing in my sister, Suzanne's kitchen, sipping my coffee while looking out the window. I had this sudden "deja vu" kind of moment where it felt as if I had never even been in Cambodia, as if the past two years had just been a dream. I had lived with Suzanne's family for the two years prior to my leaving for Cambodia, and the experience of sipping coffee next to their kitchen window as I prepared for the day felt so familiar. That may not seem strange, but it did to me because I had spent the last two years adapting to a completely new normal. It's hard to explain how weird it felt to slip so easily back into a Minnesota morning after two years of doing life in Cambodia. Well, last week I was happily surprised when I experienced the same phenomenon on this side of the world! I had flown in to Phnom Penh very late at night, so I decided, rather than having to disturb multiple people at that late hour to get into my apartment, I would stay at a hotel. The next morning I checked out and hired a tuk tuk to take me to my place. And as I was traveling down the streets of Phnom Penh, there it was....that sudden feeling that this was so totally normal. Once again it felt, in a way, as if I had never left. What had once been so "foreign" was now something I could slip back into with relative ease, almost as easily as I had slipped back into American life. Please know, I still need your prayers in a big way. There are still aspects of transitioning from one world to another that are hard, particularly missing the people I care about who are no longer with me when I leave one place for the other. I'm only two weeks in and I'm already struggling at times with loneliness. Also, I still have a lot to learn about Cambodia and am still very susceptible to all kinds of culture stress. But, it was just encouraging to recognize God's grace enabling me to slip from one kind of "normal" to another without feeling like I had lost too much ground. It was refreshing to realize that it has, in a sense, become home to me and that going from one home to another doesn't require starting over completely, no matter which direction I'm going. Thank God for that!

Show & Tell

When you were a kid and you got some special new toy, or maybe a fun new pet, weren't you just so excited for "Show & Tell" day at school to come around? Sometimes we just want to let other people in on the stuff that is meaningful to us. Being in Cambodia I have encountered that a lot. I love to be able to capture on camera or video many of my Cambodian experiences so I can "show & tell" my friends in America and other parts of the world.

Sometimes you just can't do that though. I was thinking about this last month, during a very challenging, emotional week. That Sunday a little one from our ABLE program died, and, later in the week, we received a referral for a sweet little guy who had some puzzling health issues and was extremely malnourished as a result. What does all of this have to do with "Show & Tell"? Well, there were a couple of poignant moments related to those events that I would have loved to capture so I could share them with you. The first was at the funeral of that precious little girl. She was not yet a year old, but she had already outlived her doctors' expectations. She had a number of strikes against her in terms of her health, in addition to being profoundly impaired, but seemed to be thriving in the care of her loving foster mom. And then, suddenly, she was gone. We had done our best to prepare this foster mom for the inevitable reality and, now that it had happened, we supported her in her grief. I attended the funeral along with many of our Khmer Children In Families staff. The photograph I wanted to take, but couldn't, was of our ABLE Community Rehabilitation Team member wrapping her arm around this grieving mother as she wept over her child. I have prayed (and I know many of you have joined me in praying) that the staff of the ABLE program would have not only the skill, but the heart needed for this special ministry. This "virtual snapshot" to me really captured how in this, as in so many other ways, God continues to provide "far more abundantly than all that we ask or think." (Eph 3:2). I was so thankful for a foster mother who loved and grieved her foster child as if she had been her own flesh and blood, and for our ABLE program staff who saw that this foster mother received the support she needed when she needed it most.

The second snapshot that I would have loved to capture was when I accompanied the family of the sick little boy to a medical clinic. This family had come to us in desperation. They had heard about our foster care program and wondered if we could find a foster family for their little boy because they didn't know how to cope with his mysterious illness. The doctors they had seen weren't telling them anything and the child was only getting worse. We encouraged them that we would come alongside them and help them so they would not have to relinquish their little boy. While we were waiting our turn at the clinic, I saw this sweet young couple interacting with their little boy with such love and tenderness. I thought of how often people in the West hear of families in developing nations "abandoning" their children and how little we know of what it is to walk in their shoes. In a country with rampant poverty and virtually no social supports or access to medical insurance, a serious illness can financially devastate a family. In many situations, relinquishing a child is a decision of last resort and often made with the hope that it will offer the child a chance at a future that the family feels they are unable to provide. When I saw this little boy with his parents I knew that the idea of giving him up had to have been a wrenching one for them. I'd like my friends and family to see in this "virtual snapshot" why our staff at Children In Families work so hard to do what we do.

In both of these instances the scenes were just too personal to capture in a photograph and used to "show and tell," no matter what the motivation might be. You may have noticed that, though I work with children here, you don't see a lot of children's faces in the pictures that I do share. We at Children In Families want to honor our families' right to privacy and to be a normal family. In keeping with that, I try to capture the essence of what we do without putting childrens' faces on display. Now that I've started my six month home assignment I'm looking forward to doing a lot of "show & tell" about the work that Children In Families is doing. Please send me a message if you'd like to have me come share with your church or other group!

Preparing for Antioch

The Children In Families Team

"and from there they sailed to Antioch, where they had been commended to the grace of God for the work that they had fulfilled. And when they arrived and gathered the church together, they declared all that God had done with them, and how he had opened a door of faith to the Gentiles." Acts 14:26-27

It's hard to believe that in less than 2 months I will be heading back to the U.S. for my first home assignment! Just like Paul wanted to share all that the Lord had done with the believers in Antioch who had sent him out for ministry, I am looking forward to having the opportunity to share with many of you how much the Lord has worked through your prayers and support here in Cambodia. I would like to meet up with as many of you as I can. If you have a small group that might be interested in hearing about my work with the ABLE program and the work of Children In Families in general, or if you think your church or Sunday School class would like to have me speak please let me know. I'd love to have the opportunity to share what God is doing here with as many people as I can.

 Here is a tentative schedule of where I'll be when:

March 8-16: California - Vacation time with my family including my brother's wedding!
March 17-April 26: Iowa/Minnesota/South Dakota
April 27-May 16: Texas (Dallas area)
May 17-June 15: Texas (New Braunfels/San Antonio area)
June 16-26: Colorado - Home Assignment debriefing at WorldVenture headquarters
June 17-July 5: Vacation time with friends & family
July 6-19: Iowa/Minnesota/South Dakota
July 20-Aug 16: Texas (New Braunfels/San Antonio area)
Aug 17-Sept 5: Iowa
Sept 6: Back to Cambodia!

I'll be trying to get in touch with many of you who are on my contact list, but feel free to let me know if you'd like to schedule a time to get together one-on-one (even just to grab a cup of coffee) or if you have a group who would be interested in getting an update on what Children In Families and the ABLE program are doing. If there is a particular event at which you would like to have me speak, please let me know. Even if the date doesn't match up with the tentative schedule, there's a  possibility I could flex to make it work. Just email me at lkyunker@gmail.com and I'll do my best to connect with you.
 

Times

Photo compliments of Cambodia Trust

I've been doing this daily devotional of sorts lately called Daily Office. It's meant to be a means of breaking into your workday a couple of times each day to get quiet with the Lord so that you can learn to focus on and be led by Him throughout the rest of the day. It has a big focus on meditation and being quiet to allow the Lord room to speak. It's something I've needed, and part of a work that God is doing in me to break me of my need to be constantly doing. I believe God wants me to line up my behavior with my belief that I desperately need connection with Him every moment of every day. Fostering that connection means taking time out with Him and not allowing any task to be more important than that fellowship. I'm not not where I'd like to be in that area, but I'm learning.

Anyway, this past week one of the readings was that section of Ecclesiastes (3:1-8) which starts out, "There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens."  I took a little time to meditate on the verses and to see if any of them resonated with me in particular. I found that "a time to plant and a time to uproot" really hit the mark for where I am right now. I have planned ever since I came to Cambodia that I would be going back to the U.S. for home assignment in March 2014. I've vaguely sensed the time drawing nearer for that, but in the last month it hit me with force that my home assignment was a little over four months away. That has done some crazy things for my psyche and it's been a bit of an emotional roller coaster.

It's hard to express all that is involved in adjusting to living in a completely different culture than the one in which you had been raised. It was helpful to have studied about this prior to coming, but it still doesn't fully prepare you for what the experience will be like. I imagine it's kind of like the difference between hearing what child birth is going to be like and then actually giving birth. I get through one "phase" of this adaptation process and start to feel like I've adjusted, when, next thing I know, I'm thrown into another level of learning to adapt, or finding where I haven't adapted as much as I thought I had. Well, the sudden realization that I am soon to be returning to the States just broke me out of the "new normal" that I had established. I feel like I'm kind of caught between the "time to plant" and "time to uproot." My focus has been on planting, but now that I really need to start preparing my co-workers here for my absence and also making plans for my home assignment, my brain really wants to shift to "uproot" mode. To be honest, I'm a bit frustrated and impatient with being in this in-between time. I'm still here. I need to be here in my head and heart as well as in my body, but my head and heart have already started wanting to run ahead to March when I get to hop onto that plane. Don't get me wrong, I'm still ever so grateful to be doing what I'm doing here, but I've really missed my friends and family there, and now that I am actually making plans for seeing them (for many reading this, you) it actually seems to have intensified the longing. It feels like there are areas here where I still need to plant, but I so badly want to focus on the uprooting.

So, as I'm experiencing all of this emotional turmoil, something that I noticed is that, as badly as I want to return to the States right now, I really, really want to return to Cambodia. I've spent enough time planting here that my heart is now forever split - I feel like whenever I am in one place I am going to be missing the other. It's a good thing, but not always an easy thing. Kind of like longing for a Kingdom you've never seen but that has been planted in your heart by the King. Please pray for me as I go through this emotional planting/uprooting season.

No room for boasting

The LORD said to Gideon, 'The people with you are too many for me to give the Midianites into their hand, lest Israel boast over me, saying, 'My own hand has saved me.'" Judges 7:2

Gideon is one of the guys listed in the Hebrews 11 "hall of faith" and his place in God's story is found in Judges 6-8. When he is first called by the Lord to deliver Israel from Midianite oppression he is addressed as a "mighty man of valor." The verses that follow, however, would incline one to view that as a rather facetious statement. Gideon seemed anything but valiant.

But, who am I to talk? I'm not the ideal missionary. I'm not nearly as brave as I'd like people to think I am. My trust in God is not equivalent to what I know it should be in light of all of His faithfulness to me. In the midst of the political anxiety that had recently gripped Cambodia during & after the recent elections there were times that I had felt fearful and anxious. Of course, it is not bad to be wisely cautious, but, I had to wrestle with questions like, "What am I really willing to risk for the sake of the Kingdom?" And even when things are relatively normal, I wrestle with wondering how effective I am. Is my effort going to have an impact? I'm an idealist and in my idealistic imaginings I am the kind of disciple who is willing to weather any storm with steadfast faith; the kind of follower of Jesus who would do anything He asked without question or complaint. But in my emotional response to the recent political tension, as in so many other things, I find that my real self does not measure up to my ideal self. But maybe that's okay. Maybe it's not about what I can bring to the table so much as just my being willing to show up, knees knocking as they may be.

Because as I was talking a few days ago with a fellow sojourner, I was so encouraged to be reminded how much God is doing through my being here which has been totally beyond my control. It's just one of those paradoxical ways that God works. I can see that there are some really good things happening here through the ABLE ministry that very likely would not be happening if I had not come, and yet I can take virtually no credit for them. A prime example of this is our hiring of Savorn, ABLE's community rehabilitation team member in the village. Being so culturally and linguistically distant from the village, I was completely dependent on our other village staff to find someone to fill this role. The way it all played out, I didn't really even have a chance to explain to them exactly what we were looking for, and so, when she started, I kind of had to just hope for the best. Well, as I've seen Savorn at work, I have been blessed beyond all I could have hoped for. She has been a very receptive learner in all that Srey Ny (our Khmer physiotherapist) and I have been teaching her, and she really seems to have a heart for serving these children and families. The other village staff have commented on how impressed they are with the improvement they are seeing in some of the children we've been working with, and we could not have had this kind of impact without Savorn's consistent follow up. In God's providence, the dream I had for this ministry is starting to take shape and I have no room for boasting, only gratitude. 

Savorn, ABLE's community rehabilitation team member

When You Can't See The Forest For The Trees

Cambodian Mangrove Forest

(Photo courtesy of 9comeback / freedigitalphotos.net)

When I was in my Intro to Missions class at Dallas Theological Seminary I was really energized by seeing "the big picture" view of God's plan for the salvation of people from all across the world; how this theme of a master plan of redemption is woven throughout the Scripture from Genesis to Revelation, and how He has been using everyday people throughout history to bring it about. It was encouraging to think that we all have an opportunity to participate in a plan of epic proportions that is guaranteed to succeed, and to realize that what is required of me is not stellar performance, but faithfulness.

 Fast forward to today. The thrill of that dream can get lost in the ebb and flow of everyday life. I see problems that I don't know how to solve, I see hurts that I don't know how to heal, I see barriers that I don't know how to breach, and I feel incompetent in areas that I previously viewed as strengths. All of that coupled with little aggravations of life in a developing country that are not really such a big deal in and of themselves but start to feel heavy when they pile on you all at once (as they seem to do at times). Yes, I sometimes find my view of God's big picture is blocked by a gnarly tree planted six inches in front of my face.

 But the awesome "Master Planner" is also a tender Shepherd. He knows when I need help to re-shape my perspective. Like when I was in church yesterday and, seeing some new friends I had met recently, I was reminded of the big picture plan. These sweet ladies are Chinese Christians who are in Cambodia learning Khmer to be able to share the gospel with Cambodians. How awesome is that? Totally unrelated to what I am doing in Cambodia, but all part of the same master plan. Also, I just had a visit from my WorldVenture International Ministry Director and his wife, and as we talked about my current struggles, he pointed out that these struggles are not the same as the struggles I had less than a year ago. Then many of my struggles were related to just learning to survive in a new culture. Now my struggles are so much more related to doing ministry in this context. That means that I am doing ministry. As frustrating as my limitations can feel, people are being shown the love of Jesus and I am reminded that He can do more with my five loaves of bread and two fish than I could ever hope to imagine. And all that is required of me is faithfulness.

Expectations

The "outhouse"

Inside the "outhouse"

The Lord provided me with a funny object lesson in expectations about a month ago. It was when I went out to the village with my newly hired Khmer physiotherapist to check out the new office space which was also to serve as our accommodations in future visits out to the village. We plan to spend about 4 days every other week out in the village evaluating children, developing treatment plans for them, and training our field staff person who will follow through with implementing the plans during the time that we are not there. I knew that for at least a few months we would not have electricity. I decided I'd better get a handle on what the bathroom situation was going to be as well. Since bathrooms in the village (for those who have them) are often what we in the U.S. would call outhouses, I ventured out behind the office and spotted what seemed to be the most likely option. Peering inside, my suspicions were confirmed. "Oh Lord," I prayed, "I know that You can help me do this," resigning myself to the squatty-potty and the tank of water which I anticipated I would have to use to bathe by the dipper-full as most Cambodians are accustomed to doing. No sooner had I breathed this prayer of somewhat reluctant submission, than the landlord called out in Khmer to tell me that the bathroom was inside. I was seeing a bathroom, but not the one we were going to be using. I went in to check out the new alternative and I just had to laugh at the Lord's tender sense of humor. Had I seen this bathroom first, I have to confess that I may not have been overly impressed, but, when I saw it after seeing what it could have been, man was I grateful!! Yes, expectations are huge in how we respond to situations.

Hurray! An actual shower & sit-down toilet!

That got me thinking about the weight of expectations that I experience in a lot of other areas, including my expectations and hopes about the future (some of which appear to be in conflict with each other), my expectations of my own performance in the tasks ahead, and my perception of other people's expectations of me, whether that be Khmer people, expat co-workers, or supporters back home. I trust that the Lord, in His abundant mercy, will help me to submit all of these expectations to Him and trust His faithful, gentle shepherding of me in all that He's called me to do.

Cambodian Christmas

"Same Same, But Different." These are the words from a t-shirt design that is popular here in Cambodia (as well as some other places in Southeast Asia I've noticed). It has "Same Same" printed on the front, "But Different" on the back. I can't help having these words pop into my head as I experience my first Christmas in Cambodia. There are Christmas trees here that look much like those one would see in the U.S. as well as tinsel garlands and other familiar decor, yet the overall composition usually has a Southeast Asian flair. In church there were Christmas songs, all in Khmer, some having familiar tunes, while most did not. There was the Christmas story which I got to see represented in two different church services, my own church today, and the church of one of my Khmer co-worker friends who invited me to go with her last week. In each there was the inclusion of some comic elements, something I don't generally see when watching the Christmas story re-enacted in the U.S. (at least not intentionally, though children's programs often have some unintended comic elements).

So, it's not like being home for Christmas, but I'm making Cambodia my home for now so I'm learning to appreciate the differences. I thought it would be fun to give you a little taste of the church service from today at my Khmer church, Gospel Commission Fellowship. I only got a few clips before I ran out of battery so you won't get to see any of the Christmas story re-enactment in which Mary cries out  in Khmer, "my stomach hurts, my stomach hurts," as Joseph is trying to find room for them at one of the inns. (I hear this is a common feature of Khmer Christmas plays). Anyway, hope you enjoy!

On Tuesday I am going to spend Christmas day out in a rural village with one of my sweet Khmer teachers. It is her home province and her mother still lives there. It should be another fun adventure!

Immersed

Local village woman fishing

A home in the village

Now that my period of intense language study is past (though I am still taking classes and will continue to actively engage in language learning both formally and informally), I have been getting progressively more involved in my role as project manager for the CIF disability program. I am getting more and more glimpses of the joys and challenges that lie ahead and yesterday was pretty significant in that regard. It's been a long time since I've had the opportunity to go out to the village and I was really itching to get out there. The Children in Families office is in Phnom Penh, where I live, but a lot of the children and families we serve are in a rural village two hours away by "taxi." This trip often involves sharing a Toyota Camry with 5-6 other people including the driver (actually 8 if you include the 2 small children that were in the car on the way back), a ferry ride across the Mekong river, and at least a couple of stops for snacks (Cambodians love their snacks on road trips). I do have to confess that this time around I paid double to have the front passenger seat all to myself. I felt a little guilty about it on the ride back to Phnom Penh, since the driver was sharing his seat with one of the other passengers, so I offered to give up the privilege but the offer was declined. After the 2-hour taxi ride it takes another 15-20 minutes by motorcycle to get out to the lead family's home on a road that is currently impassible by car. Once I had gotten into the taxi to leave Phnom Penh it was a day of full immersion into Khmer language and culture. Our national director, Ravy, was with me so she did help me out in a few spots, but for the most part I was fully engaged in the Cambodia experience in this piece of countryside where the English speaker does not have the safety net that tourism and hosting development workers have provided in Phnom Penh and elsewhere. (The pictures above were actually taken when I visited the village in 2010, but I included them to give you a visual glimpse of what it's like. Also, the video about Sam Ang in my last post was taken in the same area.)

One of the encouraging things about this trip was that I could speak and understand a LOT more Khmer than the last time I was in the village. Of course one would hope that this would be the case, but I was quite pleased to recognize that there was a noticeable difference. Thanks be to God!! On the flipside, I still have a long way to go and there is still so much more that I want to be able to share with families than I am currently linguistically able to do. Another significant feature of the day was that I learned an important nuance about the meaning of a Khmer word that really helps my understanding of Khmer culture. In Khmer class I had been taught that the Khmer word pronounced kind of like "a-nut" means "pity" in English. It's been a hard word for me to get used to because the word "pity" in English has kind of negative connotations - no one really wants to be pitied. In places where we Americans feel bad for someone's circumstances and would tend to say something like, "Oh, I'm sorry to hear that," it doesn't work to say the equivalent in Khmer. If my Khmer teacher has a cold I shouldn't say, "I'm sorry," I should say, "I pity (a-nut) you." Well, in the village, Ravy, told me that "a-nut" meant "to have compassion for." What a difference such a subtle word shift can make! Pity and compassion are fairly synonymous, but the difference in feeling that each one evokes, for me at least, is significant. Ravy went on to tell me that, in Cambodian culture, compassion is understood to be a stronger force than love. Wow! What a valuable insight! I'll never think of the word "a-nut" the same way again! Goes to show how complicated language and culture learning can be and how presumptions can lead to unfortunate and inaccurate conclusions. Another encouragement for me was being able to provide some practical support to a few of the children and their families. At the same time, I was faced with the challenge of a meeting a particular child whom I found delightful, though significantly impaired, and later learning that his family is having a hard time accepting him. One elderly relative is currently caring for him but she fears that he is more than she can handle and no one else seems to want to step up. I will be consulting with my Khmer colleagues to work out a plan for how to encourage this family both through practical help and through demonstrating a Christian worldview on the value of this precious child. Clearly we are dependent on the Spirit of the Living God to work significant, positive, and lasting change in families and societies.

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God."   2 Corinthians 1:4

A Beautiful Story

I've been wanting to share this video for some time and, as I was preparing to include it in this blog post, I started thinking about how wild it is that I get to be involved with this family's story through Children in Families. Please watch this video and then read on.....



I've had the privilege of meeting Sam Ang and he is such a bright, charming, delightful little boy. I thought this video captured the best of what CIF is about. What struck me today though, is that when God first planted a seed in my heart to pursue the kind of ministry I'm doing now, one of the things He used was a television feature I saw when I was in college (I think it was 20/20) about the problems experienced by orphans in Romania who had been placed in overcrowded, understaffed orphanages. Some of these children went into the orphanage with very mild disabilities but became profoundly disabled because of the lack of stimulation, love, and affection they received. They were given food and water and not much else. I was struck with the need that existed for physical therapy services in other parts of the world and felt compelled to prepare to one day use my chosen profession as a means to love children with disabilities with the love of Christ. I am marveling that in my current role I am not only using my background and skills to show the love of Christ to children with disabilities and their families in a place where there is great need, but I get to do it with an organization that is actively working to reduce the institutionalization of children in all situations through family based care. Our organization is not perfect - we are constantly learning and growing - but Sam Ang's story is a great example of what God is doing through CIF and I think it's awesome to think how God has been connecting lives, weaving people like me and Sam Ang into His big beautiful story.

Testimony

"Then I heard a loud voice in heaven say: 'Now have come the salvation and the power and the kingdom of our God, and the authority of his Christ. For the accuser of our brothers, who accuses them before our God day and night, has been hurled down.They overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony; they did not love their lives so much as to shrink from death.'" Rev 12:10-11

Last week at the house church I attend on Friday nights the subject of testimony came up. We talked a little about how among some Christian circles everybody gets excited about a "great testimony" where someone has been delivered from some wild past and that person gets put up on a pedestal while the kids who had grown up in church and never strayed too far outside the fold are made to feel like God hadn't been doing much in their lives and maybe didn't plan to. Funny, I think it's a pretty good testimony to have been captured by the love of God and kept safely in His care in a world that is so full of potential pitfalls! Really, is testimony about us, or is it about an amazing, redeeming God who works in a variety of ways to seek and to save the lost?

Well, here's my testimony (condensed version): I am a sinner. When I was 12 Jesus broke through to my heart with the realization that everything I had learned about him through my church and family growing up was really true: despite the fact that I am a sinner He loves me so much that He would die a horrendous death on my behalf so He could have me with Him forever. I was overwhelmed to think that the Creator of the universe had such great love for me at a point in my life where I was feeling rejected by many around me. I placed my faith in Him, believing that He died on a cross and rose from the grave three days later. On the basis of His sacrifice, all of my sins past, present, and future have been forgiven and He has reserved a place for me in His eternal kingdom. From that time on He took hold of my life (though really I think He had a hold of it all along). Sometimes I cooperated well, sometimes not. But even when I resisted, He always persisted! He has tenderly guided me as a loving Shepherd and has promised to never let me go. Because of His great love for me and His Holy Spirit at work in me I have the capacity to love Him in return by seeking to live my life for the sake of His glory, following His example. I continually fall short, but His grace is always sustaining me and encouraging me to press on. His love makes me long to hear Him say, "well done good and faithful servant."

I'm sharing my testimony in part because I need to overcome the adversary, the accuser of the brothers, because I do fall short. I struggle with temptation and sin. I struggle with idolatry - looking to insufficient substitutes to fill me up when I am feeling empty, alone, and insecure. But I will overcome by the blood of the Lamb and the word of my testimony, proclaiming all that He has done and continues to do in my life and His unending faithfulness.

I share it also because I think it helps all of us to think on these things. I know when I talk to my Khmer teachers who are at varying stages of the development of their faith in Jesus Christ I am so encouraged because I see God at work in their lives and I know He is continuing to draw Cambodians to Himself.

Speaking of which, here's another exciting testimony recently reported in the Children in Families newsletter.  Click here to read it!

"Can't We All Just Get Along?"

I've heard that question posed many times and it seems like, as often as not, it's applied somewhat sarcastically. As in when, following a discussion about some issue over which there are strongly opposing views, someone mockingly concludes with "Can't we all just get along?" In this context it is intended to disparage the "simplistic" view that there can be, if not reconciliation, at least peaceful co-existence, between two camps having such widely divergent viewpoints. To be honest, in the past I've used it in this sarcastic manner myself, but more and more I feel the need to put it out as an earnest plea. There are a number of reasons for this. One is that I often see these days via email, Facebook, and the media in general such an alarmist, attacking, polarizing, vitriolic approach to communication, and this is just as prevalent in the Christian community as it is from secular sources. Sometimes it is the Christians pitted against secular society, sometimes it is Christian against Christian. This certainly comes to the fore as election time draws near. Another catalyst to this post was a blog post I recently saw on Facebook written by a woman who I think really nails it. Like her, I sometimes feel "caught in the middle" and, while I don't line up with all of her theological positions, I agree wholeheartedly with her approach and her admonition to the body of Christ (and that's kind of the point - I can acknowledge that we don't see eye to eye on everything and still appreciate her as a sincere sister in Christ). Here's a link to her blog post - it's worth a read. "Liberal Christianity, Conservative Christianity, and the Caught In Between"

But what makes me even more earnest to speak up about this is that I've been spending some time in 1 Corinthians lately. The Corinthian church would be viewed by some Christian circles today as way too liberal, by some Christian circles as way too charismatic. But, what I see Paul addressing the most in his letter to them is their pride and divisiveness. It's worth noting too, that despite the fact that the letter is filled with exhortations to correct their thinking and behavior, he starts it out including these words:
"I always thank God for you because of his grace given you in Christ Jesus. For in him you have been enriched in every way—in all your speaking and in all your knowledge—because our testimony about Christ was confirmed in you. Therefore you do not lack any spiritual gift as you eagerly wait for our Lord Jesus Christ to be revealed. He will keep you strong to the end, so that you will be blameless on the day of our Lord Jesus Christ. God, who has called you into fellowship with his Son Jesus Christ our Lord, is faithful." (1 Corinthians 1:4-9)

Despite their having some really significant problems, demonstrating some very un-Christlike behavior, and many of them even exhibiting a profound lack of respect toward Paul and all he had done on their behalf, he still appeals to them as brothers and sisters in Christ and lets them know he is thankful for them. When we look at ourselves, the way we sometimes deal with issues both within and outside the church, how do we measure up to Paul's example and to the principles he taught?

(Regarding himself and the other apostles) "We work hard with our own hands. When we are cursed, we bless; when we are persecuted, we endure it; when we are slandered, we answer kindly...." (1 Cor 4:12-13)

"Do not cause anyone to stumble, whether Jews, Greeks or the church of God—even as I try to please everybody in every way. For I am not seeking my own good but the good of many, so that they may be saved. Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ." (1 Cor 10:32-11-1)

"If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone." (Rom 12:18)

"Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification." (Rom 14:19)

"As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit—just as you were called to one hope when you were called—one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all."  (Eph 4:1-6)

"Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near." (Phil 4:5)

"Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience." (Col 3:12)

Dear brothers and sisters, we are at war, but it is not with each other, with the government, or with the lost people of this world - it is with the enemy of our souls, and when our words and actions are characterized by bitterness, anger, defensiveness, and one-upmanship we are playing right into his hands. How does a lost world see Jesus in us if we are not like Him? How are we like Him if we are more concerned about changing the religious and cultural climate through winning arguments than we are about winning human hearts and drawing people closer to Him?

I love theology, I love seeking and sharing God's truth. I do believe that principles and convictions matter and I am not promoting an artificial peace at all costs (and, of course, neither did Paul). I just grieve over the way we are alienating people who need to know the Savior and how we so often tear each other apart. I like how Rachel Held Evans put it in the blog post I mentioned above, "I have no problem with Christians arguing with one another. Really. We’re brothers and sisters, for goodness sake!  Of course we’re going to argue!  We just need to learn to do it better."

Bridge or Barrier

The Kizuna Bridge which spans the Mekong River in Cambodia

So far my main "job" since coming to Cambodia has been language learning. As many of you know, I have frequently requested prayers for my progress with language learning. Well, over the past few weeks I've received some fresh motivation. While my colleague, Cathleen, was away for a previously scheduled trip to the U.S. something came up which required me to take on some extra responsibilities for Children in Families. This involved being a part of a number of meetings conducted primarily in Khmer. Now, after just four months of language classes, I was not under any illusion that I was prepared for this level of language competence - there just was no other option given the nature of the situation. There were a couple of times that I was able to arrange to have a translator, but there were several other times where there wasn't time to arrange for that and I spent a good part of the meeting feeling lost. I would catch enough to have a general idea about what was being discussed, but not enough to have the clarity that I really needed. Language was definitely a barrier for me. I felt blocked out, excluded, unable to engage in situations where I really wanted to have a voice and really needed to understand. In an environment that was already stressful in itself, this barrier was sometimes excruciatingly frustrating.

I've long been a believer in the importance of language learning for effectiveness in missions. My recent experiences did not reveal much that I didn't already know. They did, however make an impact on me experientially. I felt what it was like to be on the outside of a great chasm between me and the message. This not only was a barrier to the message, it was a barrier between me and the messenger. When people are able to speak the same language it becomes a bridge, not a barrier. A common language brings people together, rather than keeping them apart. Oh, how I want this! When I talk to families about what they can do to help and empower their children with disabilities, when I encourage them about the love and courage they are displaying in doing this, and when I have opportunity to share with Cambodians about the wonderful hope that I have in Christ, I want to have a solid bridge by which to deliver those important messages. I want a bridge that puts us on common ground and does not create confusion, frustration, or feelings of alienation. As much as I am anxious to get plugged into the work I came here to do and to start building into these children and families' lives, I am reminded again that this time that has been set aside for language learning is a vital investment. I have a bridge to build. Please continue to pray for God's blessing in that process.

Freedom

"So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed."  John 8:36
My friends and family in the United States just celebrated the Fourth of July last week. I love the way my little home town of Inwood, Iowa celebrates this holiday with its small town parade, games and lunch with neighbors in the park, the demolition derby (go ahead, laugh), and their great annual fireworks display. Americans love freedom, and the Fourth of July is a great time to celebrate the freedom that our nation enjoys. I was thinking recently of a different type of freedom, though - the freedom I am longing for so many to experience here in Cambodia, the freedom that we who have trusted in Christ get a taste of here, but will fully experience at the end of time when Jesus returns and makes everything new. While we wait for that day, we have the incredible opportunity to participate in demonstrating for this hurting, enslaved world glimpses of what that freedom looks like. What a privilege it is to partner with Jesus to "loose the chains of injustice" and to "set the oppressed free" (Isaiah 58:6). I was thinking back to a chapel at DTS where guest speaker, Michael Frost, spoke about creating "little foretastes of the Kingdom." It was a memorable message anyway, but had an even bigger impact on me because the example he gave was of a young Cambodian pastor who responded to God's call by proclaiming His kingdom in action as well as in words within a slum community outside of Phnom Penh. It is a beautiful testimony to the amazing things God can do through our willingness to be His agents of freedom. It was refreshing for me to listen to it again because it can be so easy to get discouraged by "the system." How could anything I do be more than just a drop in the bucket within an endless sea of need? But there are stories everywhere of how one life committed to the purposes of God can make an enormous difference, and the story of Abraham Heng as told by Mike Frost is one such story.

"Live as free men, but do not use your freedom as a cover-up for evil; live as servants of God." 1 Peter 2:16

I hope that you will listen to this message and be encouraged to use your precious freedom to fashion little foretastes of the Kingdom for those whom God loves, those whom He desires to live in freedom as well.

If you'd like to hear the edited (i.e. shorter) audio version of this chapel message click here.
If you want to see the unedited video of this chapel message click here.

And now for something completely different...

Some of you might remember that line from old Monty Python sketches. It seemed an appropriate title for this blog post because, for one thing, this post has virtually nothing to do with what I am doing in Cambodia, and for another, I fondly remember the subject of this post's doing his fair share of Monty Python impersonations back in college. I've had a lot of things on my mind here in Cambodia recently. Some of them I've already blogged about, some I'm still wrestling through how to blog about. Most relate to the challenges I see ahead as I move closer and closer to the role that I've anticipated having here in Cambodia. But one of the things that has been on my mind a lot is the ongoing battle of  my college friend, Charlie Kurtz, to recover from a brain aneurysm he sustained a little over a month ago.I was shocked and so very, very sad when I first heard about it. Probably only a month prior to that I had received such a warm, encouraging, and spiritually sensitive e-mail from him. It was extremely painful to suddenly hear that he was fighting for his life. I signed up for his CaringBridge website and have been eagerly following every journal post. I knew Charlie to be a warm, funny, engaging guy who loved and served Jesus with a passion and this became very clear to all of the hospital staff involved in his care and everyone watching his journey of healing. I almost expected that God might just do something really amazing, in part, because of how Charlie and his wonderful friends and family were putting Him in the spotlight. I know that God is faithful in tragedy as well as in triumph and I prayed for His comfort for Charlie's sweet family and friends whatever the outcome. It's just the beginning of a long slow journey, but it appears that the Lord is really bringing triumph out of tragedy and what I'm so impressed about is how Charlie just exudes Jesus Christ, even while he's still battling memory deficits and confusion at times. It has only been recently that Charlie has regained the ability to talk and it is clear that Jesus is one of the foremost things on his mind. Wow, do I ever want that to be true of me! One of his statements to his wife was, "is God using us right now to magnify his name?" Yes, yes, my friend, an emphatic yes!!! I can't thank God enough for you and the encouragement of seeing your love and faithfulness to Him and vice versa. Whether alive and well or on the brink of death I want my life to shine for Jesus the way yours has.

There's a long way to go, but Charlie appears to be making really wonderful progress and I pray that he will continue moving steadily forward. Please pray for Charlie and his family as he continues the hard work of rehabilitation while clinging to the hand of his Savior and boldly proclaiming His name. Pray for his emotional, physical, and spiritual well-being throughout the course of this journey.

Couldn't have said it better!

The purpose of this blog is primarily to share with my friends and family about my journey as I seek to partner with the Lord in what He is doing in the world, particularly in the little part of the world to which He has called me - Cambodia. Recently, I've been focusing a lot on what He's given me opportunity to learn about the situation faced by numerous children worldwide who are separated from family due to a variety of factors. I've been alerted to the reality that so many of these children would be able to remain within their families and communities if those of us who are looking to help their situations would reconsider the approach we take to doing that. In several of my recent posts I've tried to articulate some of these realities. Recently Children in Families received several video segments produced by an Australian ministry which is concerned about promoting family and community-based care. The following video is an interview with one of the families that we are serving and this mom says it much better than I ever could: